Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
