16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
