I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
