I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
