never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
