i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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