Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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