she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
