do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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