i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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