as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
