I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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