It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
