I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
