literally had 100 drinks last night.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
