You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
