He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This is classic penis vs brain.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
