Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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