You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
