I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
