next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
