smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
