This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
