He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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