the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
