we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
