oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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