My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
