apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
NoShamevember. You game?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
