She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
