I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Someone signed my nipple.
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