are you so shy because you have an std?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
