we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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