Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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