If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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