I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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