just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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