question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
