she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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