....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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