can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
