Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
