you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
