I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it was like his penis was on wheels.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
