I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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