But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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