So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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