morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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