youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
