I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
