Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
