Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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