I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
